Today is THE day! Time to get the paint for the new house…list of colors and number of gallons, check, list of supplies needed, check, dressed warmly since it snowed 4 inches last night….hmmm maybe I should wait until this afternoon…no, definitely need to get an early start…better wear rubber boots so my feet don’t get wet…OK, “kids…I’ll be back in about an hour, I’m off to go get the paint!”
“Phew, these steps are slippery, I’d better be careful…I have to remember to stop by the pharmacy first to get…whoa! What in the world..this is not good, there must have been a frozen puddle under the snow, my knee should not make that kind of popping noise…doing the hurdler stretch suddenly is not good for the knees, I am sure of that and maybe the rubber boots were not a good idea after all…I have to carefully get up….this is NOT good….” Carefully I get vertical again and stand there, my left leg dangling, wondering if I should try to put weight on it. I test it out and it’s working OK…I grab the side of the car to stabilize myself and work my way to the door, kind of hopping, kind of limping…WHAT should I do!? Should I head back inside, or get in the car and go ahead with my errands??? I only have 2 weeks while the contractor is on vacation to get the entire interior of the house painted…I really want to get to the pharmacy this morning, running errands with a possibly injured knee doesn’t sound like a good idea either…but hey, I’m tough and my knee isn’t hurting, it just feels strange…I’m climbing into the car and heading out anyway…here goes nothing!
Slowly I head down the driveway…down our road…so far so good. No one else is on the road, everything seems to be fine. Right turn…that went fine…a 4 way stop, no problem…left turn ahead – Wait! That truck just did a 360, “…what an idiot, doesn’t he know how to drive in the snow?” Careful now, slow down and start to turn left…ack! This is not good…no not the telephone pole….my heart is in my throat, I can NOT trash Daryl’s car! Phew, missed the telephone pole…no! not the fire hydrant…phew….no! not the car on the side of the road…phew….I’ve finally stopped…a complete 360! Man, this is a wicked intersection! Careful now, slowly turn around and get out of here…phew, made it! Now just 4 more turns until I get to the pharmacy…oh man, the car behind me just did a 360 also, what a bad intersection or what!
Time to get out of this car…I’ve made it to the pharmacy and parked without any further mayhem.
OK, my knee feels like it’s buzzing, but it doesn’t hurt. I carefully get out (not easy in a Camaro normally, let alone with a weird knee and huge rubber boots on), and I stand..seems to be OK…so I head in. Man these tests are getting more expensive all the time..oh well, still cheaper that driving all the way to Bellingham.
OK, time to go get the paint. Thankfully, the trip is uneventful, and soon I’m ordering my paint. But, as I stand there, my knee starts feeling really strange, like it’s all loose, and it’s starting to throb. An hour later, I finally have all the paint ordered and enough mixed for a good start (you can’t get much paint in the Camaro!), and we’ll pick up the rest in a day or two. I get someone else to carry it to the car, as by now I am having a lot of difficulty walking, and carrying 5 gallon buckets of paint is completely out of the question!
Back in the car, and my knee is really starting to hurt – how in the world am I going to operate the clutch! Oh well, at least these stupid rubber boots are heavy…off we go, bracing my self and gritting my teeth with every gear shift, waiting as long as possible to shift, or not shifting at all if I can help it. Twenty minutes later I am finally at home, and attempting to get into the house. “Please, God, don’t let me fall again!”
I make it in the house, and head for the bathroom, in tears now as my knee is really hurting. Wait one minute…man – I knew it! This is really bad timing…I’m going to BED!
OK, I have never cried over a positive pregnancy test in my life, and I’ve had a few of them – 12 in fact – but combine severe knee pain, a 2 weeks deadline for painting the new house and surviving a move during my first trimester and you get uncontrollable crying!
Man, did I ever have a pity party right then and there – “God this is NOT fair – I can not do this! How could you throw my plans out the window just like that!” OK – Daryl’s break is in just 20 minutes, I have to wait until I tell him before I do anything else…time can sure crawl when you life is suddenly in shambles….
I finally get to call Daryl and try hard to control my voice when the secretary answers, but I’m sure she will know I’ve been crying, oh well. Daryl picks up the phone and all I can say, through my sobs is “I’m pregnant”………”Are you sure”…..”Yes…”….”Why are you crying”….”Because…….(I can’t talk because I’m crying too hard)…”Do you want me to come home?”……”no, just pray for me, I can’t do this, not now”…..”alright, call your mom, OK?”….”OK….bye”…..”Bye…”
Now, it’s time to call my mom…followed by my friends…after talking with my mom and then two of my dearest friends in the world, who mostly just listened, I finally was able to stop crying and just laid there, quietly…then I began to remind me of what I believe about God.
God loves me, nothing happens in my life without a purpose, everything that comes my way is filtered through the hands of my loving heavenly Father, “All things work together for the good of those who love Him”, God will supply all my needs, His grace is sufficient for today’s trials (I was SOOOO taking tomorrows troubles on without the grace for them!).
Peace began to fill my soul. Everything will turn out exactly as my Father had planned. I laid my life back into His hands and took a deep breath. Time to take one minute at a time, not 9 months at a time. Step one – get out of bed, step two – find my knee brace, step three – call my doctor to see if it is OK to paint while pregnant, step four – get out of my bedroom and mother my blessings…one step at a time, one minute at a time, resting in the knowledge that God is leading me and will supply all my needs, every step of the way.
What do you think???? Do you want to hear more???? I’m thinking about writing a book about what God has taught me through His gift of Esther – I’m praying about this and trying to discern if this is something God wants me to do right now….please tell me what you think, and if you think of it, pray for me, that I will clearly hear His voice and know His will in this!
